It's Friday!  You know what that means - time for haiku!

 

Meetings, chart review

At the scope, examine slides

Just another day

You remember the rules?  5-7-5 syllables of silly bull.  Why not play along? 

I have to share this with you all.  I just hung up the phone with a lady who used to be a member of my staff.  She quit her job some two years ago to open a candy shop with her husband here in town.  It was their dream, and like many, they grasped hold of their dream and made quite a success of it.  Although I was so sorry to see her go, I had no hard feelings about her leaving.  After all, it was their dream.  They make home made candies that are absolutely brilliantly wonderfully good, although not a bit good for you.   

Her husband died a few months back.  I wrote about it.  It was so sudden.  He died at their kitchen table one morning.

Being a Floridian native, he was buried in a tropical shirt, kaki shorts, and Birkenstocks.  I thought it was quite fitting, even if he was buried here in Missouri. 

I called tonight, later than I should have, just to see how she was getting along.  We had a very nice conversation.  Actually, she ministered to me in such a wonderful and profound way by asking me how I was doing and how things were going in my life. 

God bless her soul.  What I meant to do was to give her support and what turned out to be was that she gave me support.  Words cannot express what I’m feeling right now. 

I know, I know – we all have our little dramas and miscommunications and times when we don’t understand each other and times when we are angry or unforgiving or selfish – but sometimes it would do us well to step back and remember what is important and what is not.  She reminded me of this tonight. 

God bless her soul.

Maybe I’m just feeling a bit vulnerable, but why not take a moment or two and re-evaluate where you all are.  Maybe take a second look.  Perhaps take a moment just to thank God for all of your blessings.  Perhaps take a little bit of time to tell those who support you and love you that you love them right back.  We might not ever get a second chance.  

It’s a thought.  

God bless all of you all too.  You all deserve to shine because you are all wonderful, beautiful friends for whom I am so grateful. 

So grateful indeed.       

I have a theory about life that certainly isn’t entirely my own, but I have been able to piece it together from quite a little bit of reading.  All things, be they the actions of people or the consequences of those actions can be reduced to two things.  Not good or bad, not love or hate, but love or fear.

Love being defined as that spiritual higher thing that we could all aspire to achieve if we just tried a little harder.  That unconditional love that says, “I don’t care who you are, or what you do – I AM going to love you because you are you.  I may not like what you do, or say, or what your opinion is, but I will love you unconditionally because you are you.”  I believe that there really is no such thing as a bad or wicked person.  We are all good people.  We are supposed to be made in the image of God, right?  That should make us all good.  There is no such thing as a bad person, just people who are confused.  If we knew how to do better, then we would.  It’s that simple.  Perhaps if we could give each other a break now and again, the world would be a much better place.  Judy Garland once made the following quote, and I think she sums it up rather nicely. 

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all be a little more gentle with each other, and a little more loving, have a little more empathy, and maybe, we'd like each other a little bit more."

Fear, then by my definition, is anything that is not love.  Think about it, I have yet to come across any situation when this principle did not work.

Someone says something wicked to you (or often about you) at work.  You are hurt.  How could they say such a nasty thing?  Why are they so mean?  Well, work it out.  Perhaps they are afraid that you threaten them in some way.  Perhaps they look at you and think. “Gosh, he’s so smart and always seems to be prepared for our meetings.  I’m not prepared.  It makes me look really bad.  Everyone will think that I am not as good as he is.  That undermines my position and authority.  I have to say or do something that will make him look not quite so good in front of the others.”  You get the idea.  That’s fear.

How about this, you meet someone who is really attractive.  Not only in a physical way, but emotional, intellectual, whatever.  You are indeed attracted, but what if this person doesn’t share the attraction?  What if they think you are a real moron or something.  Can’t let our guard down for that – say something sarcastic.  Push them away so that they won’t see how vulnerable you are.  That’s fear. 

Think about the concept for a while.  The surly kid with the atrocious attitude and terrible acne that works at the video shop.  The bitchy waitress who doesn’t seem to care to get your order right.  The UPS guy who refuses to admit he made a mistake on the delivery.  Are they coming from a place of love?  Definitely not.  Fear – yes.  If you take the time to think it through, you will more then likely figure out what is really going on underneath all that mess.  Perhaps, if more of us did that, our society wouldn’t be in such the muddle that we find ourselves in.

John Lennon said, “Love is the answer and you know that for sure.”  I think he was on to something there. 

Happy St. Valentine’s Day.

I stole this from John.   

1. What is your occupation? Clinical laboratory director / infection control practitioner.
2. What color are your socks right now? Gold toe white.
3. What are you listening to right now? The click clack of my keyboard.
4. What was the last thing you ate? Lunch – soup and salad.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Well hell yes!
6. What is your favorite color? Green
7. Last person you talked to on the phone?  Unfortunately, my boss.  I can think of a particular fellow whom I am too shy to call.  TMI?   
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Of course
9. How old are you today? 41, soon, very soon to be 42.  Jesus. 
10. Favorite drink:  I’d say it’s a toss up between hot tea and beer. 
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? Probably football – but I’d rather be there in person than watch on TV. 
12. Have you ever dyed your hair?  No.  What hair?
13. Pets? Sadly, gone to doggie heaven.  I miss them lots. 
14. Favorite foods? I know I should be all healthy like and answer white rice and tap water, but I’d rather have cigarettes, ice cream, and beer. 
15. What was the last movie you watched? To Kill A Mockingbird. 
16. Favorite day of the year? Not certain – I suppose tomorrow.
17. What do you do to vent anger? Brood and worry.  It’s not too efficient. 
18. What was your favorite toy as a child?  A white fleece stuffed lamb with a lavender ribbon.  It was taken away from me at quite a young age and discarded. 
19. What is your favorite Fall or Spring? Spring – it is full of hope and new beginnings.  Something I need. 
20. Hugs or kisses? Both please.  And lots of them.  Again, something I crave. 
21. Cherry or Blueberry? Blueberry, hands down. 
22. Do you want your friends to email you back? This isn't being emailed so I suppose it doesn’t count, but I always appreciate an email back.  It’s only polite. 
23. Who is most likely to respond? My regular commenters, I suppose. 
24. Who is least likely to respond? A fellow for whom I have a great deal of respect and admiration.  Sadly, it’s not a two way street.  I’m trying to get over it.    
25. Living arrangements? House with five acres and a leaking roof and a partner.
26. When was the last time you cried? Two nights ago.
27. What is on the floor of your closet? A hell of a lot of junk that needs to be thrown out and some shoes.
28. Who is the friend you're sending this to that has been your friend the longest? N/A
29. What did you do last night? Medical staff meeting at the hospital until 9:00 o’clock, drank some wine after, bitched about the meeting, prayed, read a bit, wondered about my future, asked God to bless my friends, had a wank, wondered about my future some more, and went to bed.  
30. What is your favorite smell? Clean laundry fresh from the clothesline.

A Mother Superior and two nuns are driving down the road one day and are unfortunately killed in a car accident.  Standing outside of the Pearly Gates, Peter says to each of them, “Now before I can let you into Heaven, you each have to answer one question correctly.” 

So he says to the first nun, “What was the name of the first woman?” 

And the sister answers, “Eve”. 

“Right, you’re in”, Peter replies.  To the next nun, he asks, “Where did Eve live?” 

“The Garden of Eden”, the second sister answers. 

“Correct, you’re in”, says Peter and turns to the Mother Superior, “Now, I’m afraid your question is going to be a bit more difficult, since you are the Mother Superior.  What was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?” 

The Mother Superior paused for a moment and said, “Gee, that’s a hard one.” 

So Peter says, “Yep, you’re in”. 

One of my favorite traditions of the Roman Catholic Church is held during the Easter Vigil where many of the Saints are called upon to pray not only for those soon to be confirmed into the Church and receive their first Holy Communion; but also for those attending the Mass as well.  It’s called the Litany of the Saints. 

Basically, it’s a series of chants sung by the priest with responses by the choir.  Then there is a cadence of sorts where everyone pauses during a musical interlude (I guess so we can all catch our breath) and then it’s onto the next group of Saints.  Each section ends with the final response by the congregation of “all ye good men and women, pray for us”.  It goes on and on, but here is a portion of it so that the non-Catholics can get the idea:

V. Saint Michael.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Gabriel.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Raphael.

R. Pray for us.

V. All ye holy Angels and Archangels.

R. Pray for us.

V. All ye holy orders of blessed Spirits.

R. Pray for us. 

It’s actually quite cool in that I always feel like if I’ve got all those Saints and Martyrs praying for me, well, I’m certainly in good keeping. 

When I was younger, I always sang in the choir.  I had a very good sense of pitch and would project my voice quite well.  Read that, a big mouth.  This was important, because the choir loft is at the back of the sanctuary and you are literally singing over the back of people’s heads.  I also had a friend that I hung around with a lot.  His name was Jim and he really was a bad influence.  Together, Jim and I performed brilliant acts of childish mischief and spent many an afternoon in some sort of punishment or detention.  Jim also sang in the choir and we usually found a way to sit next to each other.  Usually towards the back.  I remember one such incident where there was absolutely no doubt that Jim and I should have been allowed to sit with each other.  It was Saturday evening, during an Easter Vigil where we were singing: 

V. Saint John the Baptist.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Joseph.

R. Pray for us.

V. All ye holy Patriarchs and Prophets.

R. Pray for us. 

So, Jim leans over really close during the interlude and sings so softly and quietly in my ear: “Zop, doop, zop do day, skeedly do, bop dop do day”, and then it was onto the next group.

V. Saint Peter.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Paul.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Andrew.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint James.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint John.

R. Pray for us. 

Sure enough, during the next interlude, Jim once again leaned over and quietly sang:  “Doop doop waaaah zoop zoop de day. Skeedlea, bop do day” 

I could barely keep from laughing out loud and decided to join him during the next interlude. 

V. Saint Thomas.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint James.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Philip.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Bartholomew.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Matthew. 

R. Pray for us. 

“Zoobie, doobie do waah, do dot do day, skeedly deedly dooten do day” We giggled at such fun as scat jazz singing during the Litany. 

V. Saint Simon.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Jude.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Matthias.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Barnabas.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Luke.

R. Pray for us. 

“Weedly deedly doot dah, ze da been do day” 

V. Saint Mark.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Stephen.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Lawrence.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Vincent.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Fabian and Saint Sebastian.

R. Pray for us. 

“Bobby doobie de baah, dedidal de day.  Scooby dooby waah dah de . . . . . .”  And before I could realize what was going on, I heard a loud “thunk” and then felt this incredible stinging at the back of my head. 

We both swung around fast to see what was behind us.  Well, it wasn’t a “what” but rather a “who”.  Sister Mary Joseph stood there with arms cross and a menacing scowl on her face.  In her hand was a hymnal, the most convenient weapon of choice.  She said not one word, but extended her finger as if to make a point, and then made a circular motion.  We turned back around. 

V. Saint John and Saint Paul.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Cosmas and Saint Damian.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Gervasius and Saint Protasius.

R. Pray for us.

V. All ye holy Martyrs.

R. Pray for us.

[ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  ]

V. Saint Sylvester.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Gregory.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Ambrose.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Augustine.

R. Pray for us.

V. Saint Jerome. 

And thus concludes the lesson. 

I wrote everything on this blog for you.  No one but you.  All those other people who log on and read are nice enough, but they just don’t understand the deep and personal connection that you and I share.  I realize that we haven’t actually spoken in person – well, not yet anyway – but we communicate on a different level.  You know that.

I know how you have trouble making up your mind in the cereal aisle of the supermarket.  How you have difficulty when trying to figure out the tip on a meal.  I know the strange satisfaction you have when peeling a thick skinned banana.  I know that sometimes, when no one is looking, you smell things which you might not ordinarily think to smell.  I know about the funny faces you make in the mirror when no one is watching.

Sometimes you are overwhelmingly annoyed with the sound of chewing gum . . . sometimes not.  It’s the same with candy wrappers.  I know how you hide your eyes at a scary movie.

You and I are meant to be together.  This is why I like you the best.  You are my favorite.  Please don’t tell the others.

For the life of me, why am I getting spam that says in the header, "delete all this spam"?

I mean really.  WTF?!? 

Ah, Friday at last — and I'm not working the weekend.  Life is good!

Casual Friday

Dress down for only a buck

Why not pajamas?

You remember the rules?  5-7-5 syllables of silly bull.  What's yours?